Thursday, March 27, 2008

ALWAYS BLESSINGS...NEVER LOSSES

I saw a John Edward show today that had a profound message from a mother who had lost her child many years ago. She seemed so at peace with her loss, and John asked her what is her secret to finding peace. She said "Always blessings and never losses." John Edward could not speak and had tears in his eyes. The entire audience was crying.

When you have a disabled child, there is a grieving process that you go through. Truthfully, I think I am still in that process. When you have a baby, you think about everything he will go through in life and you look forward to experiencing those steps with him. Well, when you find out that your child will not achieve all of the things a normal child will achieve, you grieve the loss of your dreams. Then, you realize that you have to dream different dreams for him. Ultimately, Garrett is a happy boy and has no idea that he is not normal. It seems that he will always be happy in his world. He will not have any of the temptations and stresses in life. He will most likely not understand the stares and harsh comments from people. So, for him, life will always be good. For me, I look forward to his independence. I hope he will be able to perform basic tasks in caring for himself, but I will take whatever he is able to do. Mike and I know that we will always have to care for him, and we will prepare for Kennedy to take over after we are gone.

So, "always blessings and never losses" really hits home. I feel that we have been so blessed to have been chosen as Garrett's parents. He has taught me how to love without prejudice. He loves all people completely. He always has a smile for strangers. He has taught me to appreciate the small things. My grandfather use to say to not sweat the small stuff...I think he came back as Garrett. He has taught me patience. I really have never been a patient person, (and still sometimes I can blow my top) but I have had to have so much more patience. Garrett has also showed me to stop and smell the roses. After this past summer, I enjoy so much more time that I spend with them...which is all of the time. I am blessed to have Garrett, and I am thankful for being blessed. So, I resolve that I will no longer dwell on the losses and be thankful for all of the blessings.

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