REALITY CHECK

Over the summer last year, we held our child's lifeless body in our arms too many times. God was and is good to us in that he revives him each time. I have been following many Caringbridge sites of sick children. Over the time that I have been following the sites, I have seen some children earn their angel wings and I have shed so many tears. One week ago a 2 1/2 year old little boy lost his courageous battle with cancer...again many tears. Then, his courageous parents posted pictures of his funeral and their precious little man being tucked in for the last time. I still have many tears over that picture...even as I write this post. His brave mom says that her children are her oxygen and when he was ill, her oxygen was being deprived. I could not agree more. Now, her heart has stopped beating. I can't imagine the pain they are feeling....

My son has had a higher than average chance of dying since the day he was born. Everyday when I go in his room to wake him up, I say a little prayer that he will wake up and that nothing happened to him overnight. I treat him with extra special care and I am very neurotic with his care. Maybe, I should get a grip and live like he is a normal child. Still, take a few needed precautions, but not be so neurotic. On Jan. 13 th, Mike and I took a one week cruise without the children. This was a HUGE step for us. We have never left them behind for anything before. My mom did an awesome job taking care of Kennedy and Garrett, and Garrett did not even realize we were gone so long. Kennedy, on the other hand, had a very difficult time. I have never left her before, so she was having nightmares and cried a lot. She has left me for a week before and never had any trouble, so I was surprised that she was having trauma.

It was great to have one week for just Mike and I. We have been neglecting us for so many years. We even spent our last anniversary in the hospital praying that our son would be okay. My doctor, told me that marriages with a disabled child have a 96% failure rate. I think that is kinda high, but I can't find any statistics to back that up or show a lower number. Regardless, we have decided to focus on us more. Hopefully that will give us an advantage.

My reality is different than the average stay-at-home mom, but I love everyday of it. The best paycheck is hugs, kisses and cuddles.

SOME ENCOURAGING WORDS TOLD TO ME ALONG THE WAY

His earthly body is temporary...his eternal spirit is whole....
His spirit has fought many battles and has been sent to me for safe keeping and rest....
I am blessed to have been chosen to guide his precious spirit....
These are three of my favorite.